Only a nation of six year olds could possibly be entertained by network TV. I say that with as much inherited East Coast snobbery as possible.
I’m looking at you, Ozarkana.
Explain to me, please, how network TV can possibly be this bad. I’m not even talking about the embarrassment of the slew of “So You Think You Can Dance Like A Fifth Grade Millionaire in A JungIe” crap that just to keep growing like a fungus. I’m talking about the scripted stuff where they pay actual money to writers, actors, directors, etc.
Please view this clip from Hulu of the “new” Night Rider:
That is some lazy, uninspired TV right there folks. From the casting and location scouting on down. Let’s watch that green screen clip once again.
I won’t even address the “CG” explosion abomination in the first clip. And is it in Ford’s contract the car can never get dirty?
Moving on.
Even shows without ridiculous “talking car” premises can’t be trusted. I tried out Fringe. Creamy, supernatural, esoteric science? And Lance Reddick co-stars!
Ooops, should have stopped right here:
I didn’t. From the teasers, I expected deep, multifaceted plot-lines, and semi-plausable science fiction.
And then I watched the pilot episode. Here’s what happens.
- – chemicals make a future virus
- a “crazy doctor”, too crazy to even shave, suddenly gets a razor, unsupervised
- dusty “laboratory equipment” gets a “bringing back to life” montage
- and a cow moos on command, after it’s referenced
Oh, and in Network TV land, “blonde hair” = “hot”, and the female lead “isn’t”. I only partially blame this problem on David Lee Roth.
I’m just trying to save you some time.
Over the last few years the networks have been pulling their hair out over their plummeting ratings, but do they really expect this kind of programming to be the solution? It reminds me of another American industry in trouble: the car manufacturers. Yes, there are larger forces at work but I look at their cars/shows and feel like a lot of their pain is self-inflicted.
The only question I have now is whether all the subtlety of network TV has been lost, or was it ever there to begin with*?
* Arrested Development doesn’t count; they killed it, remember? Though there are rumors of a movie, who wants to go with me?
I think I figured out the problem. Inside board meetings, a “proven formula” is a good thing. Statistically, making “Ocean’s 17″ or some movie where Eddie Murphy plays all the characters or a new Knight Rider sounds like a good idea.
Then, when you go to watch it, it totally sucks because it’s the 300th time you’ve seen it.
Investors fear change and risk. Unfortunately, those are the things that create good art.
CAR GO FAST. BOOBY JIGGLES.
I agree w/Mark; would add that this reeks of marketing departments. But to be concrete, I’m guessing it airs because it’s already been paid for by having the Cobra logo featured every 7.5 seconds.
Well, that, and the bottomless appetite we ‘mericans have for dreck. And boobies.
For what its worth, new Knight Rider episodes have stopped production. The series will either be seriously retooled or canceled from what I read on some website that tracks said dreck for said ‘mericans.
I also found an audio clip of the “nation of six year olds” quote. Skip ahead to 1:50 if Rudy makes you barf: a nation of six year olds .
If there’s any silver lining, The Knight Rider show’s rating have been abysmal (hence the retool/possible cancel) which nicely coincides with sales of the Mustang being at a 40 year low.
Josh- have you cooled off yet? I’m sorry the “new” Knight Rider” was not how you remembered the “old” Knight Rider to be… Hasselhoff drawings and GIFs on nail’s web site? If you’re still beefed by it all, I suggest letting off some steam at sockandawe.com.
))
PS- Since we’ve all spent this much time discussing ‘Knight Rider’, can we call it “art”?
I further submit proof for the genius of my dissent by providing a link to the AVClub’s list for awful remakes. ‘Night Rider’ in at #3:
http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/new_not_improved_14_disastrous
And since I’ve also got nice hair, I now feel qualified enough to provide pop-culture pundrity for VH-1. Agents? My phone awaits.